Everyone sees the perfect parents on social media. They create schedules, bake banana bread, and plan creative activities for their children every day. But that might not look like your household. Vanguard’s Women’s Initiative for Leadership Success (WILS), an employee resource group, sponsored a virtual chat to discuss the realities of working from home with small children as part of its “Managing it All” series. Panelists included Theresa Westwood, a department head in Vanguard’s Financial Advisor Services, Tiffany Haley, Principal and Senior Human Resources Business Partner, Rashanda Perryman, Program Officer of Vanguard Community Stewardship, and Liz Waldron, Head of Digital and Marketing in Europe.

Here are some of the tips they shared:

You’re not alone in this. What I learned fairly early on was that despite what I was seeing on Pinterest and Instagram, this is not going to be the moment when I become the best ever version of myself – not as a wife, mother, a friend, etc. I made all of these plans – set up a fancy home school in the living room, build a family command center complete with a whiteboard, and finally make those meal plans – but literally none of this is happening, and it’s ok. You know why? There’s a pandemic. It’s hard out here. They make it look so easy on Instagram, but that’s just not my life. I had to set a better standard for myself.
— Tiffany

In my home, we practice “I need a minute” moments. Everyone from adults to children can call a time-out and take a breather…alone. To collect themselves, to go to a quiet space, to play alone – whatever they need – and we all have learned to respect that time each of us needs. Even my four year old has learned what it means “to need a minute.”
— Rashanda

Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison often leads to discontentment at the best of times – but now it can be even worse. Live your own story and know that your best is good enough. Your children’s mental health and happiness is more important than doing that extra piece of work. Focus on achieving the key things, like numeracy and literacy, and don’t stress about the rest. Accept that perfection is impossible and learn to let go.
— Liz

I’d offer the guidance to just be kind to yourself and try to stick to a routine. It’s not possible to be a full-time parent/teacher and full-time worker and be 100% at both at all times. What I’ve found that works for me is to try to keep the kids on a schedule. We get up and eat breakfast at the same time we normally would, start and end school around the same time, etc. And, I block chunks of time early in the day before meetings, at lunch, or where I can to help them with homework and to engage with them. On weekends, I try to spend as much time as possible with them and be present. It’s hard to juggle it all, and every day isn’t a good day, but we’re all doing our best during this time.
— Theresa

For those without children, the group discussed how they could support those trying to work from home with small children amid the pandemic. Tips shared include checking in with their employees with children, providing flexibility to get work done at the time and in a way that worked for their schedule, and showing empathy during this difficult time.

Theresa shared, “I feel fortunate to work for a company that has offered a lot of flexibility and benefits to allow me to still achieve my personal goals and to be there for my family.”

Further, Rashanda chimed in, “We’re all struggling to figure out what this new normal means. I think there’s an opportunity in this situation for us all to show empathy to each other, whether we are parents or not.”

Interested in reading more from the WILS Managing it All series? Click here for the first installment.